Hell Above
by missmaggiemaybe
Summary: Based on the song "Hell Above" by Pierce The Veil. Becky Baker promised to love Adam Torres forever, but what happens when Adam does the unforgivable? Now Becky has some tough choices to make. Second in my series of six stories based on PTV songs. Please enjoy and review if you so wish.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: I do not own Degrassi. This was totally inspired by an idea by MakingFrenchFriesInTheSnow so this whole thing is dedicated to that author. Hope you guys enjoy. It will be as awesome as my other story. I will also be writing more Eclare stuff. enjoy!  
**

**I cannot spend another night in this home  
I close my eyes and take a breath real slow  
The consequence is if I leave I'm alone  
But what's the difference when you beg for love? **

Adam Torres watched helplessly as his wife tossed all of her belongings into her pink plaid luggage with animosity and refused to look at her husband. Becky Baker-Torres could not spend another night in this home so she was leaving. She had even told Adam she was going to leave if something did not change, She could not take being treated like trash any longer.

Adam had pledged to love her for their whole lives, but she found him fucking another woman in their own bed. She could have forgiven him if it had been something meaningless, but this affair had been going on for months. She had first found proof when she found all the messages on his phone and the unexplained staying out late for no reason almost every night. Adam was messing around on Becky with Imogen Moreno, a good friend of Adam's best friend. Someone who Becky had kind of known when they were all still at Degrassi. She could not just dismiss this woman away because she knew the face. Imogen had been inside of her home, had attended her dinner parties, and Imogen had been a guest at Becky and Adam's wedding almost four months ago. This was not something Becky could just pray away when her husband had knowingly paraded his mistress in his poor wife's face. Becky had believed in the sanctity of marriage with her whole heart and Adam just crushed that belief. She had believed in it because of her love for Adam, all of the hardships they faced. Becky and Adam were supposed to be strong enough to survive anything, but not even a perfect woman like Becky could let go of such a slap to the face.

"I will never see her again. I swear it to you. Just please don't leave," Adam begged her, trying to put away the clothes she was packing. He tried to carry them back to the closet or the dresser, but Becky just snatched them back. She wasn't going to listen, but Adam hoped to slow her down. "I love you, not her. I made a mistake."

Becky scoffed. "A mistake is forgetting my birthday. Fucking another woman in our marriage bed is unforgivable. There are some things that even God has a hard time forgiving, Adam." She closed her first finished suitcase and placed it by the bedroom door. She still had three more to pack before her brother would be arriving to pick her up. So much to do and so little time it seemed. She had already packed all of her makeup and hair products, but she still had a decent amount of her wardrobe still needing to be packed up.

Adam sat on the edge of the bed, running his finger along the edge of the light blue comforter Becky had bought right before they moved on. He remembered how she had fallen in love with the robin egg blue of the comforter and how fluffy it was. Adam also couldn't help but remember the first time he laid Becky down upon the comforter and made love to her. He had done the same with Imogen, but that was not the same. He loved Becky, Imogen was just a way to kill time. Adam could distinguish the difference between the two women, which he thought meant something.

His wife countinued packing her things away, shooting death glares at her husband whenever possible. Becky felt like she had given so much to Adam, that she had changed herself. Becky held steadfast to her faith in God, but she had also learned to put her faith in Adam. She had learned to look past the fact he was born a woman. Becky loved Adam, not who he had been. It wasn't fair for everything she had done, this was the result... her husband begging her to forgive his infidelity. Her life had become some really bad cheesy drama and she was done.

"Tell me how I can make this better," Adam pleaded for the thousandth time, tears pooling at the corner of his eyes. Becky could see the sadness and regret in his blue eyes, but it was much too late for those to mean anything at all.

Becky closed her suitcase, ignoring Ada. She quickly packed her last bag and carried them downstairs. Adam trailed behind, crying and asking her to reconsider. Anything, he promised. He even tried to grab the suitcases, but Becky angrily pushed him away.

Adam closed his eyes and took a breath real slow. "Please stay."

"No," Becky replied and flung open the front door, leaving Adam staring after the place where Becky stood long after she left.

Adam Torres used to look in the mirror and see glimpses of Gracie. He grew angry when he remembered the way it felt when Gracie was still around, the self hatred and helplessness. Adam had finally moved past Gracie when his surgeries were completed two years ago. He was a twenty two year old man in every sense of the word. For some it would not be a big deal, but it meant everything to Adam. His mom had sheltered him so much in high school for his own protection, but Adam was fine now. He looked in the mirror and saw himself, which was all Adam had longed for his whole life. No more chest binders or pee cups. Adam Torres was all man.

Maybe he was drawn to Imogen because she made him feel like such a man. Becky was amazing. She was his wife and he loved her more than anything. Really, he did. But Imogen had this way of running his fingers along his back and making him shiver. Imogen looked at him with pure animal lust and let him fuck her brains out. The rush was addictive, like a really terrible drug. Everything was so messed up for Adam right now. He loved his wife and wanted her to come back home, but he had just texted Imogen to see if she wanted to meet up later. She had replied "sure ;)" and they were on for an evening rendezvous.

Being alone really sucked. Adam sat on the couch, playing the newest Assassin's Creed on his X box. Video games gave him a way to escape and not think about how his wife wasn't here to make dinner or fold his socks. It also helped him to avoid the even worse thoughts of realization that he was the one who drove Becky away. Adam could just shoot people in the game and behave as though nothing else mattered.

Drew had tried to call and Eli had sent him a million texts. Both were worried because they had not heard from Adam in a few days. Drew waned to plan a video game night and Eli wanted to just hang out. Adam deleted the texts and missed calls, not interested in telling his brother or best friend what a mess his life had become.

Becky looked around her childhood bedroom and wanted to cry. She had packed away of her childhood belongings when she had gone away to college and her mom had converted her bedroom into a craft studio. When Becky called in hysterics about Adam and the affair, her mother soothed Becky and said she was welcome to come back home. Her mother took the time to redecorate the room in a way Becky loved with pastel pinks and ivory everywhere. The room was very tastefully done and reminded Becky of the bedroom she had when she was younger. The bright pinks and princess themed décor. It seemed so hard to believe she was twenty two years old and living at home once again. Becky had prayed to God for guidance, but the answers were yet to be revealed.

"Becky, honey?" Her mom gently knocked on the door and then opened it. She smiled when she saw Becky holding a Bible. "Always the best place to find the answers to those rough questions."

Becky smiled sadly, placing the Bible back on the bedside table. "I am not sure what I am looking for, to be honest. Maybe the why or a way to make my heart stop hurting so much," she told her mother, Anna.

Anna sat down next to her youngest child and placed a hand on Becky's knee. "Marriage is never easy. There are always bumps, but the Lord provides you with a cushion."

Here was the part where Becky seemed to lose her faith in God. She had believed in Him her whole life, and now she felt alone. During the one time she needed God most, it seemed as though he was nowhere in sight or mind. Becky had pledged to love and honor Adam, for better or worse. But... the worse was never supposed to be this damaging.

"I know, Mom. This is just so hard." Tears began to fall from Becky's eyes as she held onto her mom's hand.

"I understand, but you did the right thing by leaving. A marriage cannot stand on a foundation of deceit."

Becky nodded. "I love Adam. I do. But if I go...and decide not to make this work... the consequence if I leave, I'm alone. I don't have someone to take care of me. I really don't think I could be alone, Mom..."

Anna wiped her daughter's tears away. "You are going to make this work. God believes in marriage, not divorce. You were raised better than that, Becky Baker."

"Torres," Becky automatically corrected, suddenly remembering the sweet way Adam snored. Torres was her name now. She became Adam's wife, which made her a Torres. She had meant forever when she took those vows, but nothing seemed the same anymore. She was not the same girl she had been when she met Adam all those years ago and she was no longer the bright eyed newlywed.

Becky Torres was at a crossroad and needed to make the most difficult decision of her life. Was she going to stick to the values she had her whole life and pretend like the affair never happened? Or was she going to be the strong woman she had become and leave behind the man who had betrayed her most terribly?

She would be alone if she left alone, but what was the difference if she was begging for love? She had begged Adam to lover her and he responded by fucking some other woman.

So many choices to make.


	2. Chapter 2

**As I run through glass in the street  
Kerosene hearts carry the name that my father gave me  
And take the face of the wolf **

Adam Torres was trying his best to find the motivation to get out of bed and do something with his day. It was already two in the afternoon, and he had been lying in bed all day. The only thing Adam had accomplished was spilling cheese on Becky's favorite comforter and crying when the stain wouldn't wipe away. Overall, it had been a highly unproductive day for Adam thus far. Also, the bedroom now smelled like stinky cheesy and Adam not taking a shower. A lethal smell, but he really didn't care.

Meanwhile, Becky Baker-Torres was at her church choir practice. She had put on a happy face in front of everyone, but it was difficult to hide the sadness she was feeling deep inside. It was two o'clock, and she knew Adam was probably still lying in bed. Becky had spent her whole day being busy and trying to do anything and everything to keep her mind off of her cheating husband. Her day had been very productive, but she was feeling very depressed. Singing was supposed to make her soul feel free and happy, but it wasn't working out so well today.

Imogen Moreno wanted nothing more than to kiss Adam Torres anytime she wanted. However, she could wish on one million stars for one million days, but her wish was never going to come true. Imogen came second to Becky. She was okay with being second, but it would feel nice for Becky to know how much Adam did love Imogen. There was no getting around it. Yes, Adam did love his wife. No one would debate that precious little fact, but no one could deny the passion Adam had whenever he spoke to Imogen or made love to her. There was something deeper than met the eye between Adam Torres and Imogen Moreno.

Perhaps Adam said it best when he told Imogen, "You make me feel like more of a man than I even thought possible." He said it with so much passion, so much meaning, it seemed impossible to brush it off as just simple words. Adam had not even said it while he and Imogen were having sex, he had told her one night while they sat in his car. The moment had been one of the best they shared during the past year of whatever it was they were. A year. Adam had been seeing Imogen for a year, eight months longer than he been married to Becky Baker.

Imogen woke up this morning and decided she was going to see Adam again. She had been over at his house last night, but she had left after they had sex a few times. She realized he needed space because Becky had just left. Adam was on the edge of his sanity in some ways because he never thought Becky would actually leave. Adam had said so many similar things to Imogen, but she did not want to listen after awhile. She knew she was second to Becky, but being constantly reminded really sucked.

"You probably don't want to see me like this," Adam said as a way of greeting when he answered the door. He gave Imogen a weak smile and stepped aside to let her in. "I have been in bed all day long and I smell like crap."

Imogen wrinkled her nose at Adam and stepped inside. She was holding a plate of his favorite cupcakes she had made, but now it seemed like she was tying way too hard. He didn't mention the cupcakes or how Imogen wasn't wearing her glasses.

"I always want to see you, Adam Torres," Imogen replied and placed the cupcakes on the table near the door. She pretended the picture of Becky kissing Adam on the cheek wasn't staring her in the face.

Adam smiled and said, "I am going to take a quick shower and then we can hang out?''

Imogen heard what he really meant and nodded. She watched Adam rush back upstairs, the sound of the shower running a few minutes later. Imogen was fine with being Adam's way to forget his wife because it meant at least he was thinking about Imogen for the time being.

When Adam came back downstairs, he was freshly showered and looking a lot more positive. He slid his arms around Imogen's waist and began planting feather light kisses along her neck and collarbone. "I see you even brought my favorite cupcakes," he murmured, deepening the kisses and pulling Imogen close to him.

Imogen closed her eyes and leaned into Adam. For her, this was more than enough. She was fine with Adam using her like this. It meant he wasn't with Becky.

Becky clutched her steering wheel for along time and stared at the home she shared with Adam. She had rushed here after choir practice had ended to maybe talk to Adam and found Imogen's car parked in the driveway. She also saw Imogen walk inside the house with a tray of something. Becky's blood boiled to think about that harlot touching her husband, but it also broke her heart to think about Adam giving his love to someone else.

She had promised forever. Forever. Forever. It was not supposed to be over in less than five months. Marriage was a lifetime commitment, not just something to be taken lightly. Becky had done so much to make sure her marriage to Adam was going to work. She had gone to counseling with him, learned about what it was going to be like being married to trans person, and had looked at the other options about having a family.

Becky had let go a long time ago the fact Adam hadn't always had the "right" parts to be a man. To her, Adam had never been a girl. He was a man in her eyes, just had been born in the wrong body. But surgery had given Adam what he was always meant to have. Her view point on Adam had gotten better since her time at Degrassi and getting to know him. Becky Baker had fallen deeply in love with Adam Torres and learned to be more accepting of differences in people thanks to Adam. But it was another matter all together when he was cheating on her. She knew men could be slimeballs, but she had always hoped Adam would be better. She had been proven wrong, and it hurt down to bone. Her fairy tale prince turned out to be toad.

Adam slept on Becky's side of the bed, clutching her pillow and wishing she was here. The pillow smelled of vanilla and cherries, exactly the way his beloved always smelled.

He felt like he was running through streets covered in glass, trying to find Becky. It was the same dream he had since she had left almost a week previous. He ran through the streets calling her name, his feet covered in blood from the glass underfoot. Maybe it was a metaphor for what his life had become, shattered, with him trying to pick up all the pieces and get his wife to come back home where she was meant to be. The dream was more than that though. It was not Adam running through the streets looking for Becky, it was Gracie.

Gracie who hated long hair and dresses, who cried when her mother called her beautiful. Gracie was the one looking for Becky. It made no sense to Adam because Gracie had been gone for a very long time, officially made dead when Adam had his final surgery. Adam had burned himself as Gracie. It was not something he liked to remember, but this dream brought those memories to forefront of his mind.

While Gracie was running through those strange streets, searching for Becky, she came upon a lighter. It was shiny and new, very bright. Gracie picked it up and played with the flame, testing it with her finger. The familiar sensation of burning felt great and she began to run the flame over her body. The flames consumed Gracie and she became Adam once again. This was the most unsettling part of the dream, but it happened that way every night. Sometimes Gracie found some kerosene and set herself on fire, but it was always some type of flames turning him from Gracie to Adam. The burning carried away the name Gracie his father had named him and turned him back into who he was supposed to be, Adam.

When Adam was himself again in the dream, he felt strong. It was as thought he had the face of a wolf and could wander alone safely. He found Becky at the end of the dream, but she always looked right through him. The dream never made sense, but it always jolted Adam awake.

Tonight was no different. Adam woke up in a cold sweat, reaching out for his wife who wasn't there. He would not find her in the kitchen making late night tea or in the bathroom washing her face. Adam had driven Becky away with his lies and secrets, and he knew she was probably never going to come back home. So all he had was this side of the bed who smelled like her and an entire house with her ghost wandering around.


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Degrassi or PTV. I do own a cat though.  
**

**'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat  
With heaven above you, there's hell over me**

**I met a girl who never looked so alone**  
**Like sugar water in your mouth lukewarm**  
**She tied her cherry stem for me with her tongue**  
**We fell in love and now we're both alone**  
**'Cause I don't need any more friends**  
**And another kiss like a fire on pavement**  
**We'll burn it down till the end**

Becky found she enjoyed staying with her parents, but it was not a long term solution. She was supposed to be trying to enroll in marriage saving classes with Adam, but she had lost the desire to even speak to her husband. She drove over there almost daily and found his mistress's car parked in the same spot. It was once where Becky's car had been; Imogen was trying to sneak in and become Adam's new wife. Becky took the satisfaction in knowing although Adam may be sleeping with Imogen, there was a part of Adam which would always love Becky more. The point of her thoughts, however, were not to be dwelling on Adam.

Her goal was to find a suitable apartment for herself. Becky was taking a big step and declaring independence. She had enough money saved up from her parents and from her job as a financial adviser at a medical company, she could afford a very nice place. In fact, she was most of the reason the house she had shared with Adam was so damned nice. But now, Becky Baker (not Torres anymore) was going to spread her wings and do the solo living arrangement. She had set up appointments to look at three different lofts and found the second one to be her favorite. It was located in the heart of downtown Toronto and only a few blocks from where she worked . She signed the lease and got the keys, now she only had to go see Adam to tell him she was selling the house and taking all of the furniture she bought with her.

Easier said than done. She thought this loft would be a retreat, to diminish the memories of the home she had shared with Adam for such a brief time. Now that it belonged it to her, it looked like a wasteland compared to the beautiful home Becky had anticipated raising a family in the house she had purchased with Adam. Becky had imagined turning the bedrooms into pink and blue nurseries, sharing the experience with Adam. She had seen her whole life laid out in the home and now it was all tarnished. She only envisioned Adam and Imogen in different parts of the house and heard Adam's endless lies. Becky only thought about staring out the window, waiting for Adam to get home and the multiple nights she had gone to sleep all alone. The memories had all negative connotations, but deep down...she still had a seed of hope left for her and Adam.

What was that phrase? Better to just rip off the band-aid than prolong the pain? Something like that. Becky was going to just do, rip off the band-aid. Or rather, get out of the car and walk into the house where Adam was. No more sitting across the street like an idiot.

Becky gathered up all of her courage, go out of the car, and marched into the house like she owned it. Which she did-half of it, anyway. She anticipated finding Adam and Imogen engaging in some kind of perverse act, but instead she found her husband sitting on the couch reading a book entitled, "How to Save Your Marriage for Guys." She smiled at the title and how sweet Adam looked all relaxed. It almost felt like old times.

Except, this was now. Becky had just gotten her own place and was here to tell Adam this was not going to work out anymore. She was going to sell the house and their marriage's fate would go from there.

Adam had not even heard her come in and jumped up in surprise when he saw Becky standing before him. He put the book aside and tried to embrace his wife. She stiffened at her arms around him, but did not push Adam away. Progress takes time, he thought to himself.

"I am sorry I didn-" Becky began.

"I wanted to call-" Adam said at the same time.

Both of them laughed awkwardly and waited for the other to speak. Becky took a deep breath and decided to just let it all out, "I am here to tell you that I want to sell the house because I found a loft to live in and I am thinking a divorce may be our best option. God forgive me, but I cannot stay married to you knowing that you broke my heart so badly."

Adam's voice caught in his throat and he tried to bring Becky close to him, embrace and kiss her to show her how much he loved her. She pushed him away and looked him in the eye, waiting for his reply. There was silence for a long time because Adam did not really know what to say.

Finally Adam found his voice and spoke, " I own half of the house. So, no. I am not going to agree to selling the house. I won't let you just give up on us like that. I know you love me and you don't want to just walk away. I know you better than you know yourself, Becky Baker."

"If you won't agree to selling the house, then I will get a lawyer. No court is going to grant you the refusal to let me sell the house after what you did to me. I will sue you for emotional distress. You underestimate me, Adam. I am not the same Suzy Sunshine I was in high school. I had to face a lot of fucking reality and it made me tougher," Becky said with strength in her voice, but shaking on the inside.

Adam did not say anything for a long time, but he just stared at Becky. His face had lost those soft curves it had in high school and now he had a strong jaw. It was one of Becky's favorite parts about him. He ran a hand over his jaw and then approached Becky with more conviction than he had ever before. Adam put his hands on either side of his face and kissed Becky hard. She felt it all through her body and the shivers ran down her spine from the passion he exuded. They kissed for a long time, and Becky let Adam lead her to the couch. There was just something about the way Adam was being made it impossible to say no or even speak.

Becky and Adam made love like they never had before.

Adam had hoped Becky would stay after they had reconnected, but she refused to say. She told him she had an enormous mistake and was going to contact a lawyer in the morning. To Adam, her actions hurt after the five years they had been together. High school sweethearts who had gotten married and had a bright future ahead of them. Now it was all gone because of his mistake. He remembered when he had first met Becky, the way she wanted to ruin Eli's play. Yet, there was something so lonely about her. Becky Baker had never looked so alone than during her first few months at Degrassi. She and Adam had not gotten along at all, she had tried to raise money to spite the ticket sales for Romeo and Jules. But eventually, she changed her mind and had fallen in love with Adam. She had fallen hard, but Adam had fallen even harder. Becky was really sweet, like ridiculously sweet sugar water that was luke warm. She was a lot to take in at first, but Adam grew to love her more deeply than anyone else. She learned to accept him for who he was and did not look down on him for not being born a male. Becky stood by Adam through all of his surgeries and even agreed to be his wife. Adam Torres had anticipated forever, not just four months.

Becky Baker-Torres turbed out to be much more than the narrow minded Christian girl she had once been. She was actually very caring and wanted her loved ones to be happy. She had a strong faith in God, but learned to be more open and accepting after being with Adam. The Christian thing was not his favorite thing about his wife, but he also learned to accept. Becky had a very fun side too. She could tie a cherry stem with her tongue. What Becky Baker-Torres could do with her tongue was, um, amazing. That was all Adam would say about that.

They had fallen in love and now they were both alone. Becky was making the best of this situation. She was moving on with her own apartment and a lawyer to get a divorce from Adam. The being alone was her own choice. Adam was forced to being alone. He handled his forced isolation by shutting himself off from the world. He had not talked to Eli or Drew for days and avoided answering the door when the stopped. His thought process was, what is the point of friends when he was alone? He did not need anymore friends. Not even his best friend of many years or his brother. Adam was better off alone.

Except when it came to Imogen Moreno. If Becky was done with him, why should he give up Imogen? She gave him more attention than anyone else. Imogen needed him. She made him feel like a man, which was exactly what he needed at this point in his life.

As Adam placed a kiss upon Imogen's lips, he felt like he was burning down his entire life. Just taking his whole life and burning it down straight to the pavement. He may not have anything else left in his life, but dammit if he didn't have Imogen to fuck the brains out of and numb out how shitty his life had become.

"I love you, Adam Torres," Imogen whispered and kissed him.

Just burn down his entire fucking life, until the end and there is nothing left but remnants and ashes.


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Degrassi. And this is dedicated to my loyal readers of MakingFrenchFriesInTheSnow, Alexmarvilla20, and last but not least, DylanEverettismyhbbu. You guys are whY i keep writing this story. Your reviews make my day :)  
**

**Oh, oh  
This is a wasteland, my only retreat  
With heaven above you, there's hell over me  
The water is rusted, the air is unclean  
And there for a second I feel free  
This is a wasteland, my only retreat  
**

Adam Torres was in hell. His wife was gone, and she wanted to sell the home they had planned to spend the rest of their lives in. He and Becky were supposed to enjoy their newlywed days in this home and then plan on starting a family. It was not supposed to be easy, but they were going to look into their options. It was either adoption or surrogacy. Adam was thinking about the children they were never going to happen and it broke his heart. Becky had talked about pink and blue baby rooms, about shopping for all the baby supplies, and having a happy family. His home was being taken away from him and there was nothing he could do to stop his wife from taking it away.

"Are you going to call me back? Clare and I are worried about you, man. Just pick up the damn phone and let us know you are alright. That is all we are asking." A voicemail from Eli.

ARE YOU ALIVE? A text from Drew.

Becky probably felt like she was in heaven now that she was free of her cheating husband, while Adam was feeling like he was stuck in his own wasteland. It was a really messed up place for him to be, but it was all he had.

Adam spent a lot of time at the place Eli and Clare introduced him to from their urban adventures. It did not matter he had once planned a part for Fiona here. For him, this place brought back memories of when he asked Becky to marry him and the first time they made love. Adam came here to remember all of the good times because they were all he had left right now.

Becky **B**aker finally felt like life was working out in her favor. She wasn't dwelling on the pain her husband caused her or how she wasn't really going to a lawyer for a divorce. Becky did not know if she wanted to end things with Adam for good. It was such a hard choice to make after being together for so long. Yes, he had hurt her more than words could convey, but he had made a mistake. People need to be forgive for their mistakes so they know they are not the worst people in the world. Forgiving was what Jesus was all about. Maybe Becky needed to take some of that Jesus forgiveness she learned and give it to her husband. Becky was trying to move past the affair and open a new chapter in her life. She was doing it away from Adam, but maybe the space was what they needed for the time being.

"Becky, this is Adam again. I am pretty sure you are not going to answer the phone at three in the morning, but I thought I would give it a shot. All I am **asking** for is another chance to talk. You left so quickly I did not even get the chance to say goodbye. I love you." The twenty seventh call from Adam during the course of the night.

Please just pick up the phone. A text from Adam, one of 200.

Adam was probably having the same kind of sex he had with Becky just a few days previous with Imogen. She looked around her new apartment, her own little wasteland of pink and plaid. This was her home for the time being, but it felt like she had created her own personal hell. Definitely not an attitude to have when life was supposed to be working out in her favor.

Becky went to the place where she and Adam first made love almost four years ago. It had been different then—before the surgeries—but it was still one of the best moments of her life. She remembered the way he made her feel and how the experience brought them closer together. Becky came here to remember when she had first fallen in love with Adam because she felt like she needed to do it all over again.

Adam made his final decision to end this fling with Imogen for good. The past six months had seemed like a good idea while he was sleeping with her, but the consequences were not so good. He had hurt the most important person in his life and ruined his marriage. Adam had promised to love and cherish Becky for the rest of his life, not Imogen. When he realized there was a chance to make amends with Becky if he cut off contact with Imogen, he knew that he had to end their silly little affair. Imogen had taken it a lot better than he had expected.

Or so he thought. She had looked sad, but said she understood. Imogen did love Adam, but she realized they did not have any real chance of lasting. It was all just a fleeting affair that had to come to an end sometime. She had even wished him well for his marriage and did not get mad when he said it would not be a good idea if they talked. Adam was cutting off all ties with Imogen and she had been very accepting.

Except for the part where she had saved the video she recorded of them having sex the last time before Adam ended things. He had told Becky he was going to be done with Imogen, but he still came crawling back like the weak man he was. Imogen knew he would. Men were all the same and would never say no to one quick fuck. It had all happened quite quickly, but Imogen had the proof Adam lied to his wife about not seeing Imogen anymore. He had fucked her quickly and roughly, then told her it was over. She had captured the whole interaction on video. Imogen Moreno was almost positive Becky Baker-Torres would like to see how well Adam was at ending an affair. He got his one last sex session and then let them down easy. Perhaps she was biased, but Imogen was sure Becky would not be happy to see this.

There was also the pictures Imogen saved onto Adam's phone. She had taken him ending the affair well because she had a whole lot of leverage against Adam Torres. He had come crawling back once. He would do it again. It was all just a matter of time and patience for Imogen.

Adam had found getting drunk with Eli and Drew was always the best way to get over his problems. A whole bunch of drinks with his best friends and he no longer had any cares in the world. He took Eli out to drink when Clare had left Eli almost three years ago. Now she was doing better after her suicide attempt; and she and Eli just had gotten engaged. Life was working out well for Eli Goldsworthy. Adam was hoping soon it would do the same for him. But while it was sucking, there was nothing better than getting drunk off your ass til your wife decided to come back home.

Adam, Eli, and Drew were on their third pitcher of beer and the world was looking a whole lot fuzzier around the edges. They talked about high school, women, and sex. The conversation went in all directions as the drinks were poured generously. Adam was all about getting as much beer down his throat as possible. He wanted to forget about the way he had hurt Becky and pretend Imogen had never happened. Eli and Drew just wanted to make sure Adam was going to be alright.

"But I wanted to jus' end it but she was and then we had sex and then I did end it and now I am gonna get Becky back," Adam finished his story, slurring his words and almost falling off his bar stool. He looked at his companions who both seemed very surprised to hear the ending of his story. Neither had expected Adam to sleep with Imogen one last time. They had both told Adam to cut all ties and to abstain from doing anything stupid. Obviously, their advice was ignored by Adam.

Eli ran a hand through his unruly black hair and spoke, "I am not sure I see you and Becky working things out if you are still having sex with Imogen. I am not the expert on marriage, but ending things with your mistress after having sex seems like a bad idea."

Drew nodded his head in agreement and said, "I am with Eli on this one, bro. You fucked up bad and she is not going to take your sorry ass back."

Adam held up his hand to contest. "You aren't listening. It is over now. So now Becky can come back home and we will be happy again."

"No woman can ever get over cheating. It is a proven fact,"Eli pointed out, finishing his beer and opting to drink water instead. He tried not to drink too much anymore since Clare had been going through drug counseling. He was trying to be supportive by staying away from bad substances, but Adam had convinced him to have a few drinks. He was sure Clare would be forgiving. She was wonderful like that.

"I think you need to just let go of Becky and move on," Drew added. Drew enjoying the single life and felt like it could be good for his brother. He had never really gotten along with Becky and thought Adam could do a lot better. He kept this to himself, but now Drew could convince Adam life was better off. He could have a fresh start and be happy.

Adam shook his head for the thousandth time that night. "I feel it. Becky and I are going to work things out. It will be as though Imogen Moreno never existed."

Becky awoke to find a new email when she checked her iPhone. It seemed like it had come from someone she attended church with because the subject line read; A heavenly experience not to be missed. It sparked her curiosity, but she decided to grab some breakfast first.

She made her way into the kitchen of her new apartment and turned on her coffee maker. Becky needed one good cup to wake her up. She then made herself a bowl of fruit with some yogurt to enjoy. Her coffee brewed quickly and she poured herself a cup.

Now, it was time to open that new email.

Becky clicked the link and found it led her to the video. As soon as the video started playing, her coffee mug fell out of her hand and hit the floor with a crash, sending the hot liquid spilling out all over.

On her phone was Adam fucking Imogen after he swore to Becky it was over.

She was going to pay a visit to Adam and then to Imogen Moreno. No one treated Becky Baker like she was a fool and got away with it. No one.


	5. Chapter 5

**I waited all this night to honor you and say  
"I know it's hard, but who are you to fall apart on me"**

This is a wasteland, my only retreat  
With heaven above you, there's hell over me  


Becky Baker was hell bent on revenge. No one, and she meant no one, made a fool out of her. She had gone through way too much these past couple months to be treated like some naïve child any longer. Her husband had promised everything was going to change and no more mistress. Adam had told her he was ready to begin anew and let go of all the demons in their closet. Becky had even had the audacity to believe Adam was being genuine and wanted their marriage to be fixed. Until she got an email of a video from Imogen Moreno where Adam had sex with her and then ended their relationship. No way. Life did not work that way. Adam was not going to get his one last time with that slut and then come home to his wife like nothing had ever happened. No, no, no.

The time had come for revenge, and this was going to hit Adam where it hurt the most.

Adam Torres spent the past few days feeling better than he had in a long time. Becky was talking to him once again and they were planning a time to get together. It was a chance to really talk face to face and rekindle their marriage. He had made a mistake and was ready to spend his life with Becky only. Imogen was gone from his life for good. Only sunshine and blue skies for this lucky guy He did regret how it had ended with Imogen. Adam cursed himself now for not being stronger and sleeping with her for that one last time. But it was one mistake. They had already slept together many times so what was one more? He could just chalk it up to getting caught up in the moment and let it go. Becky was never going to find out and he was never going to sleep with Imogen again. All of his problems had been solved, and Adam could focus on making his wife fall for him all over again. So many plans to be made and all of the time in the world since Becky had promised not to seek a divorce after all.

A time to love had come again for Adam, and he was ready to make the most of it with his beloved Becky.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Becky knew Drew would be willing to sleep with her if he could be convinced it was the right thing to do. All she needed was a lot of alcohol and a way to make Drew cross the line. She was sure it would be easy enough to do if she out on her sweet, innocent act. She was not an idiot. Drew had always looked like he wanted to see what was under the Christian girl's clothes and now he had the chance. Adam may have been Drew's brother, but no male is going to turn down easy sex. It was a well known and proven fact. Actually, the fact about males being unable to say no to the slutty girl is what brought Becky to have to do this. If Adam had not lied to her about how he was going to end things with Imogen, then Becky would not have to sleep with Drew to get even. Oh, well. Sometimes people do not think things through and they have to live with the consequences. This would be Adam's biggest consequence.

In order to prepare, Becky went to the mall and purchased some very sexy underwear. Black lace bra and matching barely there panties. Drew Torres would have not idea what hit him when he got Becky Baker naked. She was prepared for whatever would happen, taking pleasure in the fact she was getting back Adam a thousandfold for the sins he committed. When it came down to it, the sins of Adam were always much greater. Becky could pray for forgiveness, but Adam never could. He did not believe in anything except his love for Becky. Look at what he got for his belief... a wife set on revenge in the form of sleeping with his own brother. Life did not get more messed up.

However, Becky would not just be sleeping with Drew and then telling Adam all of the dirty details. She had made sure to set up a nice little web cam to record all of the juicy details and to have the sex occur when Adam was expecting Becky to be at home, making dinner and ready to fix their precious marriage. Fool Becky Baker twice and there was hell to pay. Not just a little bit, but for a lifetime.

"Are you sure you don't want a beer?" Drew asking, tipping his bottle in her direction. He was only on his second beer so there was barely a buzz going on for him yet. Poor, poor Drew had no idea what was about to happen to him. He could sit on the couch being his dumb self and would never have any idea about what he would be doing in about an hour.

Becky smiled sweetly and tugged down her dress to show off her perky breasts. She had pinned her long blonde hair back, letting some tendrils fall loose to give her a sexy look. The dress she bought was a light pink with a low neckline and wasn't very long. Underneath, she had on some really risque black lacy undergarments she knew would blow Drew Torres away. No man could resist an easy, sexy woman. It was the reason so many marriages fell apart.

About an hour later, Drew had finished a decent amount of beers and was looking at Becky with pure lust. His drunken state made it hard for him to hide how much he was staring at Becky whenever she checked on him to see if he needed anything. She was being really sweet and he could see why Adam had fallen in love with this woman. It kind of made Drew sad knowing he once had something like this with Bianca but it ended when she moved to New York City.

Finally, Becky knew it was time to start the show. She made sure the web cam was focused on the place where she and Drew would be and sent a link to Adam's email. She made sure the headline was something to catch his attention: **Thinking of you and missing you :) **So sweet and innocent—until he opened it up. But it was something which would make Becky feel better. She had to watch Adam and Imogen fuck one last time. Adam would see his brother and wife doing what he did again and again with Imogen. Adam Torres would also finally know how it felt to have one's heart ripped out of their chest and stomped upon repeatedly. When Becky did revenge, she did it to the max.

Drew looked unsure at first when Becky sat down next to him. She smiled sweetly and then moved closer to him, placing a hand on his thigh. Drew was hesitant, but let Becky trace gentle circles closer and closer to his zipper...

"Adam is my brother," Drew protested, watching Becky's hand hover over his jeans zipper but did not push her away. There was something in his eyes which showed the desire he was feeling for this blonde temptress in front of him. He was only human, and Adam said Becky Baker's lips could do amazing things. Just one little blow job would not hurt anyone. Especially if Adam was none the smarter about the situation/.

Becky placed a finger over Drew's lips and said, "Shhh." she silenced the man in front of her by unzipping his jeans and putting those pouty lips to use. Becky Baker then proceeded to blow Drew Torres's mind by revealing the sexiest underwear he had even see and letting him fuck the life out of her.

All on camera for Adam to see and enjoy, of course.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Adam Torres never knew he could feel so broken. He felt as though someone had taken his body and run it over with a car repeatedly. His heart had been obliterated and his soul no longer existed. Becky had done this to him on purpose. He knew how malicious she could be and here was the shining example, she had sex with his own brother. On a fucking web cam so Adam could watch. Who does shit like that? Adam pondered to himself as tears streamed down his face. His true love had broken his heart beyond repair, and there was no way to fix the wrongs which had been done. But he could barely hold it against her because he had done the same thing.

For months, Adam had a fling with Imogen and lied. He let his mistress come to his wedding and he fucked her in the bed he shared with his wife. Adam Torres had no right to be mad at Becky when he caused her to do this. The tears he shed and the breaking of his heart did not really matter now because he had done it to Becky for months. He needed to go see her and make her see that he was sorry...that he wasn't going to screw up again. Adam loved Becky with everything he was, but he needed to show her. He did not care she had slept with Drew out of spite because Adam knew deep down Becky loved him, not Drew. He just needed to see her and everything would be alright again. Somehow, it always worked out between them.

The doorbell rang, startling Adam. It was the middle of the night and he had no idea who could be at the door this time of night. He opened it hesitantly and found Becky standing there. She was wearing her pajamas and had her hair pinned up, looking like she had been crying as well.

"I have been up all night and I needed to see you," Becky told Adam with the saddest voice he had ever heard his true love speak. She sounded so raw and lost, like she had been crying for hours and did not know what to say anymore.

She began to sob and Adam just stared at her for a few long moments. " I know it/s hard, Who are you to fall apart on me?" he asked, the words just tumbling out of his mouth before he had the chance to really even think.

Becky stared at Adam, too shocked to even cry. "Excuse me?"

" I have been up all night thinking about how much I fucking love you and how we can work this out, but I was wrong. You are just fucked up in the head and I can't believe I let you do this to me again. You have done this the whole time we have been together. You always make me feel like shit for everything I do wrong. And then you always have to make it all about you. Five years. I know I made a mistake, but you cannot hold it over me forever. And you definitely can't fuck my own brother and expect me to forgive you. Who are you fall apart on me when all you have done is hurt me so badly?"

All the words and feelings Adam had been hiding finally came out. He had been in his own personal hell for far too long. Time for Becky to understand how badly she manipulated him and used him for their whole relationship.

" I want a divorce," is all Becky could say. She had expected this to be the chance to rub Adam's face in what she had done, but he had thrown her off with his surprise rant.

Adam stared at Becky for the longest time and finally said, "I would rather die than stay married to you anyway."

The plan had blown up in Becky Baker's face. She wanted to get Adam to want her so badly again, but instead she got this. The only thing she could think of was retreating to the place she first made love to Adam to think about where she had gone wrong in her. Becky Baker was in hell, and Adam Torres had driven her there.


	6. Chapter 6

**You said What about us well, what about me?  
Hang from the gallows asleep in the rain  
Cause This is a wasteland, my only retreat  
Paralyze me don't let me jump don't let me fall **

The rain had begun most unexpectedly. It had been a warm, sunny day to enjoy when the sky just seemed to open up and the downpour began. Some would say it was a bad sign, but Becky Baker did not believe in silly ideas such as signs about life. She only believed in what was in front of her and whatever she experienced. There was no time to believe in God when one's life had become such a disaster. Becky had tried to put her faith in God, but she was so tired of being let down. She realized she was better off on her own for now. Damn the rain, she thought, and damn Adam for saying those things to me last night. He had told her she had used him and treated him like crap. Adam had made Becky feel bad for what she did. She was supposed to feel better because he had done the same to her, but nothing was turning out the way it was supposed to anymore.

Adam really wanted a divorce. He said he would rather die than be married to Becky. She never thought words could cut so deeply and make her like so insignificant. The man she had spent the past five years loving and planning to spend forever with did not want her anymore. No worse feeling in the world than knowing the one you loved would rather die than be with you. How does someone even process hearing something just like that? Maybe it would get easier as time passed, but Becky was hurting more than she cared to admit.

A divorce before she was even 25 years old. Her parents would never look at her the same and the church members would always be whispering behind her back. Becky already had to deal with all the people who said hateful things about Adam and who judged Becky for marrying him. Now they would be saying how they knew a marriage like hers could never last and it was for the best. People had always been so judgmental because Adam was different, because he wasn't perfect. But Becky saw past all the hateful words and whispers, she saw Adam for who he was and she loved that person. Now all of that had come crashing down and the only option left was to say they had tried their best and get a divorce. Life was so unfair, it seemed. Becky had planned out happily ever after and it had fallen down right around her feet.

If you could not believe in true love, then what could you believe in?

Becky rushed into the law office she had made an appointment with this morning, unsure of how she was supposed to talk about wanting a divorce. Deep down, she wanted to work everything out with Adam and try again. They had both made mistakes, but mistakes could be forgiven. Five years was such a long time to spend with someone... so many ups and downs, kisses, love making, and memories. Becky and Adam shared so much their whole relationship and now she was here to talk to someone who would help her legally end the marriage vows she made to Adam.

"Becky Baker?" A brunette wearing a power suit and glasses called Becky's name as she walked in the door and frowned when Becky waved frantically. The woman seemed very put together, a lot better than Becky who was wearing her sweats and had no makeup on. Becky was much too depressed to get dressed up for anything. Not even a meeting with a divorce lawyer. Why should it matter how she looked for a meeting? She had more than enough money to pay the woman so Becky could wear what she damn well pleased.

Once they were seated in the office, the woman, Joyce Markes, began to rapidly fire questions at Becky. She asked about how long Becky and Adam had dated, if there were any children involved, and just questions about every aspect of Becky's life with Adam. It was like nothing was off limits, the worse the news, the more the lawyer seemed to smile.

"What about extra-martial affairs? Did your husband ever cheat?" The question sent Becky back to the first time she knew Adam was cheating on her. It was this moment when Becky Baker realized how much she hated what her life had become.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"What about us? What about me?" Adam's questions lingered in the air as he held the phone in his hand. He was listening to the sound of his own breathing and the terrible silence from Becky. She had called him to reveal she had met with a divorce lawyer and suggested he also get a lawyer. She did not say anything about talking or trying to work things out.

Adam had been angry when he said those hurtful things to her. Now he regretted every single word and wanted nothing more than to be holding Becky in his arms. The emotions he had been feeling last night had gotten the better of him and all of those words came out. He kept replaying them again and again, realizing they sounded worse every time he thought about them. Adam loved becky with all of his heart still and needed to show her he wasn't going to give up without a fight.

But all he heard was...

** " I have been up all night thinking about how much I fucking love you and how we can work this out, but I was wrong. You are just fucked up in the head and I can't believe I let you do this to me again. You have done this the whole time we have been together. You always make me feel like shit for everything I do wrong. And then you always have to make it all about you. Five years. I know I made a mistake, but you cannot hold it over me forever. And you definitely can't fuck my own brother and expect me to forgive you. Who are you fall apart on me when all you have done is hurt me so badly?"**

and of course..

** "I would rather die than stay married to you anyway.**"

Stupid, stupid, stupid is what Adam had been for so long. He had this amazing woman who married him, but he had been too blind to see what was right in front of him. Now she was telling him to get a divorce lawyer and that they needed to discuss when they were going to sell the house. Everything was happening so quickly Adam was afraid there would be no time to make his wrongs right again.

Adam was hoping it was not too late for him to fix things with Becky because he had to admit those words did have some truth to him, he would rather die than not be married to Becky. However, it was not the time to think like that. Even though the rain outside had not stopped, Adam was not letting his mind wander to dark places. He had not thought such things since he had been Gracie, but it was hard not to let his mind wander to such dark places when he was losing his sunshine.

The darkness seemed more and more inviting the more Adam tried to imagine a life iwthout Becky. It simply did not exist. There was only nothingness. And the nothingness was slowly calling to him...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xx

Becky knew she needed to see Adam face to face. She was just having a difficult time gathering up the courage to go see him and talk to him. All she could think about was how sad and distant he sounded hours before on the phone. Becky had never heard Adam sound so depressed before. Not even when he almost was unable to have his last major surgery done. She could not but help being worried Adam would fall into a deep depression if she did not take the time to pay him a visit soon. Even if the divorce was going to happen, Becky wanted them to get along. Both had been through way too much together to just throw it all away.

Adam would not answer his phone though and did not respond to texts. Becky was feeling very apprehensive about the sudden silence from Adam, but she thought it could also be that he did not want to talk to her anymore. It just seemed so strange how Adam would just stop responding when he had just begging her to come see him. Something did not seem right, so the little voice inside was gnawing at Becky to go check on Adam.

But first, Becky needed to start packing up her apartment. She had gotten this place as a sign of her independence, but she could not live her anymore. She wanted to go back home to Adam. To the house they had bought together. Becky knew she had been stupid to see the lawyer and tell Adam to get his own. She had been so stupid these past few weeks, but she was going to make it better. She would pack all of her belongings and surprise Adam. Just show up and announce she was moving back in. When Becky Baker did surprises, she did them big. And this one would be one of the best Adam could hope for. She would explain how she had been such an idiot and how she wanted to make things right. Becky knew Adam had to be thinking the same things too. She would apologize for being such a bad person and swear they could start over. She would forget all about Imogen, and he could just pretend she had never slept with Drew.

She stared at everything she needed to pack and began to fill the boxes she purchased at the supermarket with her belongings. This was not going to be an easy feat, packing up everything she owned. But it was worth it because she was packing it so she could go home to Adam. She was finally happier than she had been in a long time. She sang to herself happily while packing and planned to go see Adam when it stopped raining.

Adam always told her it was never raining when Becky smiled because she was his sunshine. She was looking forward to hearing Adam saying those types of sweet things to her for the rest of their lives because there was no way she was losing him again.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There was no answer when Becky rang the doorbell. Usually Adam answered the door right away. His car was still parked in the driveway so Becky was getting worried. She did not see him sitting in the living room or hanging out in the backyard, so she was starting to wonder where he could possibly be. After waiting for about ten minutes, she searched for her key at the bottom of her purse and opened the door to the house.

She was greeted with total silence and no indication Adam was even at home. Why would his car still be here though? Becky wondered as she walked through the house, looking for Adam. Everything seemed fine except for the silence. She was so used to some kind of noise happening in the house, it made her heart race out of nervousness. Something was wrong. Adam would not just leave in the middle of the day and not talk to Becky...

Adam was probably just over at Eli's or something. She could not shake off the bad feeling creeping up her spine so she explored the house to make herself feel better. Everything seemed fine until she reached the bedroom. The room was dark, but there was light peaking from beneath the bedroom door. She turned on the bedroom light to find a picture of Adam and herself with his wedding ring lying on top of the photograph.

Nothing was making sense anymore. Becky's heart was beating quickly and the bad feeling was only getting worse. Adam...please...no. She was having the same bad thoughts, but was hoping they would be proven not to be true. She and Adam had so much left to still do. No, she was not going to think the worst.

Very slowly, Becky opened the door and screamed. She screamed for hours until someone finally found her lying on the floor, a pile of numbness. She had screamed herself hoarse.

Beyond Becky Baker was Adam Torres on the bathroom floor, his body void of life.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Life without Adam was unfair. Everyday was a rainy day, another chance to find a way to die. Adam had gone first, but Becky was not far behind. What was life without the one you love?

There was nothing dramatic about how Becky felt. There was only logic. Her whole life had been about Adam, and now he was gone. There was no reason for her to go on without Adam. He had been gone almost two months and nothing eased the pain. Becky relived the rainy day every single moment and wished she had gone to see him sooner. A part of her felt as though she maybe could have saved Adam. Then he would still be here and life would be okay.

She had tried hanging herslef on that rainy day Adam died, but she failed. She fell asleep listening to the rain, promising Adam she would be with him soon.

Never again would Becky Baker-Torres break a promise or hurt her beloved Adan. Never again.

This was the end. She was sitting on the roof of the house she and Adam had once shared. The place where Adam died. It was only fitting it be the place where Becky took her final breath.

Fear was paralyzing. She told herself not to jump, to not fall. But it had to happen eventually. Now or never was how it goes for Becky. She had failed once, but this time would be different.

Becky closed her eyes and thought of Adam, perching on the edge of the roof.

_**One...two...three.**_

_** Jump.**_


End file.
